dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Mom said you looked used
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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