He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
