it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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