so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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