I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
