ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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