how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
