they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
