return my video game
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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