We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
When are your genitals available?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
