He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
