that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Boobs speak an international language.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
