I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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