White coat. Heels.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
