We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
