is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
