You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
