Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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