Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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