It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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