watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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