took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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