I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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