I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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