youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
