Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
