I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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