I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
