I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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