I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I believe in your delicious
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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