your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My penis needs a shock collar
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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