the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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