i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
