You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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