honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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