my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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