wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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