She said her name was "party"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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