why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
