my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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