I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
