It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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