found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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