Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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