So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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