I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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