make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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