we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
