My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
