I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
