no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
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You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
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Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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