I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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