I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
