i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
