"it" just moved
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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